Best self.

Today in therapy we talked about my  concept of "best self". This is something I often talk about, especially in regards to my vision board, but I think most people think its some kind of new age hippie nonsense.
It's just a concrete way of explaining an abstract concept. You know when you're on point, when you're working for your future, when you have a vision, and are taking care of yourself.
Btw, I did read "Best Self", which better articulates it, but I've been babbling about this for years before it came out.
Your "worst self", or "anti self" (the book calls it), is the you that's working against being your best self.
So when you're trashing your body, have no motivation at work, date toxic men, watch too much tv, you're being your anti self.
My best self is feisty, articulate, engaged, ambitious. I'm resourceful and I like to make things happen. I'm working with purpose and intention.
My anti self is lazy, carnal, makes excuses, drifts through life in lalaland. I'm a victim, I'm needy and clingy and want to be rescued.
That manifests through actions, like over eating, zoning out, starting fights, etc.
That's why it's important to have a routine that serves your best self. Even when you're just going through the motions, an established routine will help prevent backsliding into your destructive habits.
Talking about this made me realize a few things.
1. My anti self is basically a whiny preteen girl. That was also an age where many bad things happened to me, which conditioned my brain on how to deal with certain situations.

2. Something i knew but am finally understanding, is that I mimic my mom when I'm in that mindset. She was sometimes a frazzled dramatic mess. Never knew how she'd react,

3. I think in extremes. I can have something in between "best and worst".

Actually, losing my black and white thinking is a priority. I feel like this impacts all areas of life. I don't have a lot of balance in my thinking.
Another thing is compartmentalizing. Apparently this is a skill I've never mastered. I often feel like I'm being held hostage by my feelings.
Until I understand them or a situation, I cant do anything else. 
I'm not sure if your best self is something you're actually supposed to believe you'll be. I think it's something you strive for, but accept that it's unlikely to happen. Like a guidepost. Or maybe some people actually are their best self.